Building an "Identity"

Lately I've been thinking about the concept of identity.

Yesterday at kits pool, I swam past a guy, who was wearing the local triathlon shop logo on his swimmers. He then picked up his pace to try and swim with me. I wondered if this guy, looking at me (albeit underwater...) wearing mismatched tops and bottoms, that aren't even "training" suits, and judged that he should be a faster swimmer than me. Now granted I may just be making all this up in my head, and he just wanted to draft off someone faster, because that's good training sometimes.

But whatever the reason. It got me thinking about how people feel the need to "build an identity". And what does that mean really?

Today, it is easy to go out and buy an identity. It's easy to go the shop, and buy a brand and thus thrust your identity alongside with all the associated traits, behaviours, looks, personality, friends, past-times, age, even sexual preference. This is more and more prevalent, in our commercial, consumer society. We shop for an identity, and we build it with clothes and with behaviours, but what is more fascinating is now we have the means to "publish" our image. On facebook, on twitter, on blogs... (irony noted!)

But I wonder about how it was in the past? What did people do, in order to tell others without actually 'telling' them, all about who they are? And what about societies that aren't submersed in advertising and consumerism and internet? How do they "build an identity"?

This is by no means a new concept. Sociologist and psychologists have long been pondering the questions about identity, about it's link to personality, it's link to behaviour, whether it is something that is constant or whether is changes over time, or across varying situations. I love thinking about the "human animal", one of the reasons I took psychology in school, to see if anyone had any answers... turns out, nobody really did, I found myself spending a lot of time, learning about what other people "theorized" about human beings.

I know for myself, I am constantly trying to define, redefine, pinpoint, understand, justify and defend my identity. Just when I think I know who I am, something changes, and I start all over again.

I think there may be two ways to define our identity:

1. By the things we do, and surround ourselves with (outside stuff)
2. By the way our minds work, the thoughts, the feelings (inside stuff)

And here is where there can be real discord, for myself at least... I marvel at the people who seem to know exactly who they are, and I mean marvel in the best possible way. The one thing I did learn in all my psych courses, is that yes we do have "personality traits" that are fairly consistent across our lives, yet the way a person behaves, is more dependent on circumstances or situations, and so these traits determine a range of behaviour.

A range. I think some people may have wider ranges than others. Such as women may have wider ranges than men, as we tend to ride a wave of emotions throughout a monthly cycle!

I have quite a wide range, of what I consider the realm of my identity. And it is always changing, sometimes my range gets very narrow (and anyone who knows me, knows that I can be very focused on one thing ... almost too focused) I throw myself into a new thing with 200% and then the energy needed to stay that focused is like a short fuse, it doesn't last long until I explode (which usually means get injured, because I've trained too hard too fast - this is where a coach with a plan is a good idea). So I move on... to the next thing...

Do the people who surround themselves with very visible and strong identity cues, such as brand names, have a more narrow range, maybe it's more constant? They are certain about what they want others to think about them. Or maybe, it's because they feel a security in "building it up". It's good to know who you are, and even easy when you just put on a shirt and all the questions are answered.

There is security in belonging. Human beings are social animals. We need to have the security of being a part of something greater. (A side note of interest would be, that in our day of waning Church influence and participation, people have substituted belonging to a certain Church, for belonging to a certain Brand Name, or activity (thus the cult-like following of running and triathlon clubs.)

I am not trying to say this a bad thing. I think it's great for people to belong, better than isolating! I love joining, swim groups, running clubs, cycling clubs.

But what happens when we loose the thing the very thing that defines our identity?

We have all seen it, and most likely it has happened to you. You get injured. And if it's lasting enough, you have to redefine yourself. And then you are put face to face with the second way that you understand who you are: Your mind, your thoughts, your feelings. This can be scary!!

Maybe the people who have mastered this realm, have been more in touch with this side, and can cope better. And perhaps even can find a level of more sustainable and constant happiness.

Perhaps this is how people of the past, and people who live more simply (not under the blanket of consumerism) create an identity, or do they create it at all? Maybe they don't need to. They don't rely on all outward trappings of a visible identity, they have come to understand and live with the inside stuff. Maybe... I can only think of a couple people who might live this way. But then dwelling too much on the big daunting questions like: "Who am I? What is them meaning of life?" is definitely not very productive or helpful, believe me I've been there! Being busy is better than being idle. And since I've given my bike a rest, haven't pedaled a stroke in weeks, haven't put my energy towards a triathlon or running goal, and it being the summer, I've had a bit more time on my hands... Who am I? What does it all mean? .... ; )

“The busy man is troubled with but one devil; the idle man by a thousand.”